Open Mic

This is for all the little sisters.

The little sisters with big brothers.

I’ve been there.

At times it may have seemed like I didn’t care, that I didn’t know what was going on.

But, I did.

I knew things weren’t normal, that you weren’t okay. But was I brave enough to ask?

No, I wasn’t.

I was loosing my best friend, my big brother.

What was I loosing him to?

An addiction.

Something that I don’t think I will ever understand completely. But something that I wish I had known how to stop.

Instead of being someone I looked up to, you became someone I feared. Someone I no longer recognized.

But what do I know? I'm just the little sister. Right?

I’ll never forget the disappointment I felt on my 16^th birthday when I sat at home by myself while mom and dad had to pick you up from the police station. Then when asked why you never wished me happy birthday you said “I was high, what do you expect?”

I know you wouldn’t expect me to care, cause that’s what little sisters do… is try and act like no one else matters but themselves.

But what did you not see?

You didn’t see me praying everynight that you would come home safe.

You didn’t see me die a little inside each time you broke one of your promises.

You didn’t the tears I would cry everyday wondering when I would ever see the big brother I had known. Or atleast thought I knew.

There was so much I wanted to do to help you, to say to you, but I didn’t know how.

But putting all of that aside, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for not being there.

I'm sorry for acting like I didn’t care.

For not letting you know that I was scared.

Im sorry for not listening, when all you needed was a friend.

Im sorry for not ever telling you I love you.

But hey, what do I know, I'm just your little sister.

Film Analysis

A Cinderella Story

OW: Sam and her Dad are the best of friends. They do everything together, it's just the two of them. Until her father meets Fiona and gets remarried.
CALL: A huge earthquake hits the San Bernadino valley and her father is killed while trying to save Fiona. Sam is left with just her step-mom and two step-sisters. She is forced to work at her father's diner as a bus girl. In the mean time she meets a boy through a chat room with secret pen names and they talk and text but have never met each other. The second call comes when "Nomad" (or Austin Aimes) wants to meet Sam ("Princeton Girl") at the High School's dance.
REFUSAL: At first, she decides that she's not going to go to the dance because she has nothing to wear and her evil step mom is making her stay home. However, she decides to go. When sam goes to the dance, she disguises herself so "Nomad" won't know its her since she feels inadequite to be with anyone. Especailly when she finds out that it's Austin Aimes - the most popular boy in school. She leaves the dance in order to avoid embarrassment.
MENTOR: Ronda, a friend of her father and a lady she works with at the Diner acts as a motherly figure to Sam and helps her through things.
TESTS, ALLIES, ENEMIES: The three most popular girls in school who one of which likes Austin decides to reveal Sam's secrect identity.
APPROACH: Austin tries to confront Sam about the whole thing but chickens out and never talks to her.
ORDEAL: Everyone at school makes fun of Sam for thinking that she actually had a chance with Austin and for making up a secret identity. So one night before one of the schools football games, Sam decides to stand up for herself and go into the locker room and chew out Austin saying that she's the one who's been hurt and that it's been her all along, but he's the one she feels sorry for.
REWARD: During the middle of the football game, Austin realizes that if he doesn't do something that he would loose her so he stops in the middle of the game and runs to the stands and kisses her and tells her he's sorry.
THE ROAD BACK: They work everything out. Sam and Austin get together and forget their differences and remember why they fell in love in the first place.
RETURN: Sam stands up to her step mom and step sisters and moves out to college with Austin, and they live happily ever after!

ORDINARY WORLD

My ordinary world. What is it like? I think i'm still trying to figure it out. But what I do know for now, is that it's boring. I do the same thing every single day. Wake up, go to school, come home, relax, go on the computer and blog. (I<3 tumblr) And that's pretty much it! Lame, I know. My life is simple, ordinary. I need something new. I feel like I'm not living as myself.. I know that wouldn't make any sense to anyone else, but to me I know exactly what it means. And it's taking over my life. Where is my call to adventure that every hero in every Hollywood flick recieves? But what small or big things would be enough to change my life? Something like, not graduating high school like planned, getting a summer job, not getting a job, when I go to college.. if I got married within the first semester, get accepted to fashion school, move to New York, someone in my family dies, I get pregnant, I loose all of my friends, I drop out of college, a famous fashion journalist reads my blog and I get called to write for a big magazine, I loose all feeling or movement in my body.. the list could go on and on. But to say the least, I'm still waiting. Still waiting for my ticket to my own special world.

SHAKE THE DUST

THIS IS FOR THE HATERS.

The people who have ever doubted me. This is for anyone who has ever dreamed a dream.

For the people who have tried but failed, then found a way to succeed.

This is for the people who dare to be different. This is for all the quiet kids who sit on the back row. Maybe there's a reason for it. For the people who never get enough credit then they deserve.

Shake the dust.

This is for anyone who said it was impossible, no way I'd ever make it. This is for you. This is for anyone who has felt like giving up. For the people who fail science but come up with the world's next greatest inventions. This is for the nonbelievers. For the people who never stopped believing. For anyone who gets accused for not being themselves, when in reality that's all you've ever known.

Shake the dust.

Shake it till your opinion is the only one that matters, because in the end,it is only one that matters. Shake it till the haters are put in their place. And remember, this is for you.

Gandhi

Friday morning purple dawn,

I step through the fog like I step to a song.

I keep forgetting how much time we don't really have.

You're the only one that stuck it out last night.

Slip through your fingers, feet hit the ground like a beat for the lonely.

Just wanted you to know how I felt, but is it too late?

Cause when this world collides you're the one I can't deny. I wanna be where you are.

It all seems forgotten.

The brightest stars are falling down.

But when will we own ourselves completely?

America's dying. There's a voice you cant ignore.

It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be, but how you deal with these problems and pains that comes your way.

This is where we started. Never forget. Never forget this moment...

Cause tonight? Well tonight, is not the last time I will see the light.

A picture, for you...

SIXERS

Fourteen years old, story still untold.
I hope to live out my regrets.
My life's a bunch of almosts.
I used to rule the world.
You put me outta my element.
Today, I stopped believing in words.
Waiting for something that wont happen.
Born in California, then nothing happened.
I could not have it better.
Always working on the next chapter.
You are a murder of love!
Realized childhood dreams doesnt pay bills.
Longingly waiting for summer to come.
Why dont you text me back?
She tried, but then she failed.
New York City, I love you.
I cant think of six words.
I want you here with me.
Dear NYC, Please take me back.
I really like hearing your voice.
So, ill see you soon then?
This is the potential breakup song.
Los Angeles 2012, here I come.
Still waiting for my Hollywood ending.